Focus On The Lukacs Family: Within Us There is Something Stronger

The Lukacs family (left to right), Michael, Julianna, Char and Evan have lived in Westport off and on for 9 years with time living abroad. Mom, Char, is a trained optician and board member at two local nonprofits: A Better Chance and the Westport Museum.  

“I am not currently working outside our home but with everyone home all day there is plenty to be done around the house! It’s been a great time to try and get our teenagers to pitch in and help…making and serving dinner, laundry, cleaning bathrooms, using the vacuum…all good lessons for soon-to-be adults. My husband, Michael is an international tax lawyer and has been spending long days in his home office on phone and video conferences, trying his best to make time to join us on walks at the beach. 

My day consists of overseeing study at home programs for our teenagers, spring cleaning – closets, garage and basement, virtual board meetings for 2 local non-profits, long walks with our dog (sometimes multiple), running at Sherwood Island, daily phone check-ins and Zoom video calls to “see” friends and family, and lots of cooking. I have been making a pot of soup almost every day. Somehow, homemade soup makes everything a bit better!  

We originally followed news of the novel coronavirus when the breakout began in Wuhan, China. It seemed like any other news report from halfway around the world — something that was newsworthy but wouldn’t impact us directly. I remember my husband telling me about the size of the lock down in Wuhan and how it was comparable to a lockdown the size of the NYC metro area. We both were trying to imagine if that happened here…but we couldn’t even. That was not even two months ago. It’s truly amazing how quickly everything has changed.  

The repetitiveness of life now compared to just a month ago has been the biggest change. We’re trying to find a balance for teens when it comes to social media, Netflix, gaming (all ways they are staying connected to friends, which definitely has it benefits), and also making sure they put the electronics away, are present with the family, and reflect on the current developments. 

We are healthy and trying our best to make the best of this challenging situation. We look forward to the day when we can hug friends, visit our favorite restaurants, attend a workout class or participate in team sports, reunite and embrace extended family, celebrate our daughter’s high school graduation and, mostly, to know that the worst of this pandemic is behind us.  

We are calling and checking in with family and those in the community that may need assistance picking up groceries and supplies. We have volunteered to support the Gillespie center and setting virtual meetings and happy hours with friends and family on Zoom to “see” and support each other. Together we will get through!” 

Regular communication from Selectman Jim Marpe and the town of Westport, as well as the State of CT, have been appreciated. I am heartened by stories of local residents helping neighbors and friends, from setting up a website with links to purchase gift cards for local businesses (onewestport.com) to residents answering the call for help at the Gillespie Center, I find hope in the many acts of generosity, love and kindness in our community.  

I find hope in the many acts of generosity, love and kindness in our community.

Our hope is that this experience changes humanity for the better–that within us there is something stronger and we emerge from this experience collectively better than ever before. Our fear is that this pandemic lasts longer, creates lasting damage to the economy and takes more lives than we can imagine right now.  

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On Chris Buckley: There’s A Light at the End of Every Tunnel

Together for 30 years, Chris Buckley, and his husband Mark Ciano moved to Westport in 2013 from Forest Hills, Queens when their children were toddlers and the couple felt the family needed more room. They became familiar with this area after marrying at Fairfield’s Penfield Beach in 2010 and Connecticut was among the few states with legalized gay marriage. The Ciano-Buckleys were photographed on March 27– their twin’s 9th birthday. 

“I normally work from home as does my husband. I work with a technology company that manufactures wireless connectivity solutions. People who know what a MiFi is or perhaps have heard of 5G may have heard of my company. We have seen tremendous demand for our products with the work-from-home initiatives now.  

We’re managing school lessons with the kids –but please don’t judge our educator skills. Much respect to the teachers! Most of our food is brought in online with an occasional trip to Stop and Shop. We’re happy to help anyone that needs us to pick up something from our supermarket trip

We’re getting out to the yard to exercise and allowing the kids a little more screen time than usual.

When they’re off the screens they are doing art projects, playing basketball, running laps around the house and now competing on their new foosball table. 

We’re getting out to the yard to exercise and allowing the kids a little more screen time than usual. When they’re off the screens they are doing art projects, playing basketball, running laps around the house and now competing on their new foosball table. 

I’m impressed with how the town managers are communicating to the community. I think we are all adjusting and fortunate that there are tools like Facebook, FaceTime and Houseparty to keep all of us socially engaged.  

Our greatest hope would be that “the giving by others to others attitude” we are seeing continues well past the crisis. My greatest fear is that this isolation continues for months or more. Working in startups and (I’m on my 5th) there’s always unexpected twists and turns to which I need to adapt—this has prepared me a bit for this situation. Plus, my parents are pretty chill and always showed us that you could get through any tough situation. There is a light at the end of every tunnel. 

Our greatest hope would be that “the giving by others to others attitude” we are seeing continues well past the crisis.

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On: Laura & Dan Nissim

Dan Nissim is a software engineer who works remotely and his wife Laura is a Board Certified Legal Nurse Consultant who works at a law firm in Westchester County but is now working from home as well.  The couple says there hasn’t been a lot of change professionally for either of them but their daily lives have changed in a number of ways: “We have concerns about going out and meeting people and, of course, there is the inability to do the things that we normally do, day-to-day like going to the supermarket, or hair salon and getting dental/medical care.“ 

Dan: Because I work from home full time I depend on going out to the gym and even shopping to get some interaction with people, so not being able to go out and interact is very frustrating. The biggest change is not being able to see our family face to face. That’s the most difficult. On the entertaining side I can finally get a little revenge on my children and not do exactly as they would have me do! 

We hope that there can be a greater world understanding that we are all in this, no matter where we live, what we look like and what language we speak. That this virus is a great equalizer as it doesn’t particularly care whether we are old or young, it strikes all with equal measure. Our fear is that we will be out the other side of this and NOTHING has changed and that the crisis has further polarized us socially and politically. Sadly, with the way the U.S. is now, it’s unlikely to be much different and [the situation] may even be used by others to make things much worse.  

It is particularly frustrating as both of us have elderly parents that need and want support and social media just doesn’t cut it for some things. I have a brother that has end-stage lung cancer and I go to sleep and wake up wondering if I will see him again before he dies. I’m struggling with the wisdom of driving the few hours to see him.

We hope that there can be a greater world understanding that we are all in this…

Laura: I am on social media, trying to speak logically, and sometimes clinically, to folks who are afraid. A friend who had lung surgery has needed support as she is very fearful. Others just really need to laugh. I am in frequent contact with my siblings and my 89 year old mother.  

Some people are alarmists, using social networking to escalate conversations that need clarity and calm. Some friends I know are struggling with the social isolation and fears for the future, which then is impacting their health. I know there are many who are unable to work, to earn a living that they count on while others, like restaurant people, continue to struggle day-to-day, hoping that their place of business can remain open and come out the other side of this to continue on. 

We continue to believe that the people will try to do the right things in this crisis. We are trying as a couple, along with our family, to keep our spirits up–enjoy the sunshiny days and the flowers that are blooming, regardless of the world’s current insanity. Dan would love to help in some concrete way but isn’t finding much that a software engineer can do to help. We want to support the efforts of others and are here if there are people in need that we can help. The state of Connecticut just called on health care people to help relieve some of the active healthcare workforce. It is something I’m thinking hard about. 

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus on Jen Tooker: Getting Through & Getting Stronger

Jen Tooker has lived in Westport with her husband Mo since 2008. The couple has three kids: A college freshman, a high school junior and a sixth grader. After a 22-year career in the marketing and underwriting side of the reinsurance business she is now Westport’s Second Selectperson. Jen has been working around the clock as part of the town’s leadership response team to the Corona Virus Crisis. 

“As Westport’s Second Selectwoman, I’m working 24/7 alongside First Selectman, Jim Marpe, to respond to the COVID-19 outbreak. We are working in different locations from each other and from our amazing department heads so we can all stay healthy to lead and support our residents and local businesses through this unprecedented time. The information is moving at record pace. Our responses must be equally rapid. I’ve had some high-pressure jobs in my almost 25-year career in finance, but this experience has redefined pressure. We work every day to ensure the health and safety of our residents and the economic viability of our businesses. It’s a pleasure and an honor, but can be a little tiring! 

When I’m not working, I’m helping my three kids find a schedule with school and life and trying to keep them out of my husband’s home office where he is also working 12 hours a day. We have a very disappointed college freshman who is back home for the school year, an anxious high school junior who can’t figure out how this will affect her future and a restless sixth grader who misses her friends but loves having the attention of her older siblings. I have to admit, I love having the kids home. We have family dinners, family movie night, family game night, family walks and, best of all, family house cleaning day – including toilets!  

I now do everything via email, phone, Zoom, GoToMeeting or FaceTime. While those platforms are all important, especially right now, I got into public service because I love people. I am energized by speaking with, learning from, interacting with and problem-solving for our residents. It’s just not as fun doing this job via technology. I miss seeing everyone in person! And I simply can’t wait to see everyone again soon – when the time is right.  

I’m very proud of Westport. We are focused on stay safe, stay home. If you have to go out, practice virus distancing. Many of our businesses and non-profits (like Westport Museum!) have been forced to close or drastically alter the way they bring their products and services to their clients. This Westport in Focus project is a fantastic example of the creativity of our community. Thank you! It takes a village to “flatten the curve” and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than Westport.

My husband and I were both raised in families that believed in “figuring it out”. Life didn’t always go the way we expected. There was no obvious path and knowing how to rise to the occasion for family and friends was a priority. I’m staying true to these principles. We will get through this together and be stronger for it. I’m sure of that.  

…We will get through this together and be stronger for it. I’m sure of that. 

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On Donisha Diagne: Ultimately, We’re Going to be Ok

For the last 11 years, Donisha and Alie Diagne have made Westport their home and where they’ve raised three children, Bilal 9 and Leyla 7, and Gary (2018 Staples graduate). Donisha describes the Diagnes as,  “a resilient, small, close-knit family,” for which she credits her heritage and history as well as that of Alie. Born and raised in Connecticut, Donisha’s family migrated here from the South during the Great Migration and Alie emigrated to America from Senegal. 

“There is a level of resilience that comes from our backgrounds and a level of understanding of how much energy we put forth and how we interact with others. For my family, coming up from the South in the industrial boom times and being able to build themselves up has been helpful to us in our ability to think. Not just in the present, but about the future and how we navigate from this environment with its scary levels of uncertainty. It’s about how do we continue to look toward the future, understanding where we are, and knowing ultimately, we are going to be ok. 

Most people in town know our oldest son, Gary who is 20, from the YMCA. Alie and I have had opportunities to support A Better Chance of Westport in different capacities. When you see us, we are often with our younger children Bilal and Leyla at their school or sports events. Although we have lived here for more than 10 years, we are still discovering the town. 

Juggling between work and homeschooling is the biggest change to our professional and daily lives now. Finding ourselves working from home full time – with a full house – definitely requires an adjustment. Previously, we worked from home one to two days a week based on our family needs. We find ourselves being more intentional about our daily calendars, syncing meetings, and working together to ensure one of us is available for Bilal and Leyla when the other is in meetings. We are also trying to find our new normal by sticking to a new schedule and switching to “family time” at the end of the work day. 

As a financial regulator, the content of Alie’s work has not changed as it relates to COVID- 19. However, he has joined the videoconference revolution! He uses video chat check – ins to stay connected with his team. I am a business psychologist working in HR with a focus on employee engagement, development and diversity, equity, and inclusion. Although my role remains the same, the content of my role pivoted slightly to include a focus on helping employees to increase their effectiveness while working virtually and providing leaders with the tools to manage remotely. 

Gary is helpful in taking the kids outside for breaks from homeschooling and being another adult in the home. After work or homeschooling ends, we go on walks, read, listen to music, dance, and cook together. We’ve always had a lively home; however, we’ve stepped up the energy during this time. I’ve also started running again now that the gyms are closed. 

Overall, the community is doing well coping with the crisis. We appreciate the daily updates from our town leaders and schools, as well as the opportunity to engage with other members in our community via social media. We are looking forward to meeting individuals we have met online in person once the crisis is over. It’s really impressive to see how the town has rallied together in support of the retail businesses, local hospitals, and first responders. We couldn’t be prouder to live in Westport at this time.

We’ve always had a lively home; however, we’ve stepped up the energy during this time.

Our greatest hope is that we will continue to work together to reduce the impact [of Coronavirus] to our town and extended communities. We also pray that a useable vaccine is discovered quickly that reduces the impact to everyone’s lives to the greatest extent possible. 

We are connecting with our friends and family frequently and making ourselves available to offer support and an ear to listen. For our community, we have reached out to our neighbors to offer grocery shopping and support, as needed. Sometimes it’s just calling to say hello.” 

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.